Rhemalight

  How to Show the Commitment

I can almost hear my mind asking how I can love with my thoughts but hey mind, keep quiet and I will tell you. Hushed, it gets and allows me to think about this topic. Recently while taking a shower (many ideas jump into my heart when I am taking a shower or just before I sleep. Probably those are times when my mind is at its best rest) I started to think about Ephesians 5:25 which talks about husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church. Immediately, I thought that if the word translated love is agapao, in both instances, the shift has been made. So I switched on my Laptop, checked the Greek word for both words. And just like I suspected, it was referring to agape love and I concluded that those words answer the question that has lingered for generations- how can I love my wife.

Well in these 3 parts of How to show your commitment, i will articulate the predominant avenues of love i.e. actions (dealings), words (vocabulary) and thoughts (deliberations). Please note that this works for both men and women and therefore should not be pushed off to any party. It is a word to you and you must take it as your own.

Well, Ephesians 5:25 has been around for a lot of time! Sonko, what makes you think that just getting the Greek words answers that question? Well, let us look at the different avenues and we will realize in the end the significance of that scripture.

Loving through Your Thinking

This is one area that has been neglected in showing how love can be shown but actually it is the foundation for successful expression of love. Most of us can articulate loving through words and actions but we are found lacking in this.

Thoughts are the products of our thinking and have different sources. You can choose what to think on or about. It is your decision and not God’s or even the devil’s. If we didn’t have choice over our thoughts we would be having similar thoughts with others but we don’t. And for thoughts coming without, you can choose what thoughts to take up. The bible says that God’s thoughts are higher than our thoughts implying that they are different but we can choose to think like him. I have decided to dwell on this such that when you start reading on how to love your spouse through your thoughts, you have no excuse.

When you got born again,-if you are not, you should. Believe in Jesus Christ with your heart that he died and got raised from the dead and then confess him as your lord and saviour, get saved and get a new mind. If any person is in Christ, he is a new creature and the old is gone. This new mind must be trained just like a baby and must have continuous renewal by the water of the word. You can’t leave your mind unoccupied because there is an enemy ready to fill it with trash.

This new mind can be lorded over because it is not you. I mean if you can think about what you think then that means you are separate from your thoughts and you own or have a mind which can be controlled.Having understood that your mind can be directed in a certain direction, I believe we are now ready to explore the depth of how to show the commitment to love through our thoughts.

If you are a human, you have ever hated somebody and they didn’t have to be near for you to hate them. A friend told me of a person who confessed to her that she hated her but the interesting point is that she had no basis for hating her and neither had they interacted-she just hated her ‘naturally’ as some folks say. Sleeping on my bed in my Hall during my undergraduate study, the Lord dealt with me to start loving just the way I used to hate i.e love from a distance even without contact with the individual. It is little wonder that the first aspect of love that I grasped and which I practice better than any other is thinking the best of others. I continue to do this even when I am thousands of miles from my friends and wow it leads to me to praying, seeking gifts and/or calling them to talk to them. I will revisit the prayer aspect as an outcome of “love through thinking” at a later stage.

Phil 4:8  Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

First you should understand that the decision to think on the best about your spouse is independent of the way she/he acts and therefore should not be conditioned on her/his behavior. Make a decision to think the best about your spouse even though they don’t warrant it. You have been called to this life and therefore let it be your ambition to lead the high life. The love life is the high life. Please understand that you have to deal with issues in your relationships but let your motivation be love and not fault finding.

Phil 4:8 tells you what to think on concerning your spouse. Some of these things may be true but not noble so you have no business thinking those things. I am going to deal with those aspects so that you fully grasp how you are going to do this.

From that particular scripture, there are two if statements and they qualify what has been said before. For you to think on what is true or honorable or lovely, it should have virtue and/or praise. Don’t just think about anything true because it may not have any praise or virtue and for you to do so is really not showing love to your spouse. 1 Corinthians 13 also talks about the fact that love thinks the best of the other person. You will not succeed in loving through actions and words if all you are thinking is how they do not know your phone number by heart.

Think about the way she dresses sharply, the way he leads, the way your spouse took you out and not how that would have been good if…

As I contemplated on where to end in this article, this thought came up after seeing a statement. I have found that there are times when I bought gifts for friends and I later found out that there were not used. Well, I didn’t ask them but I wondered why and later I found that I bought a teaching series for them that they didn’t need and often times they preferred something else. Well, I didn’t get mad because my philosophy is that when I give a person a gift, what they do with it is their business since they own it. On the other note, I realized that though I have that as my philosophy, other people’s is different and I handle gifts given to me with care since the some folks still weld some authority over the way I can use the gift they gave.

I now realize that if I had taken time to think about them, think about our conversations and their likes and dislikes, I would have achieved some success. What I am telling you works. I started practicing it and 90% of the times, I have been on the mark. So, if all the time you are thinking about their ugly side, how they miss it as if you are perfect, your actions will be a product of those thoughts and boy, they will not be good. In short, love through your thoughts is about thinking the best about them.